He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
