Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
