what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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