it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
