She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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