Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize