Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
