Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
