First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
