Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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