Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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