Duck Duck Cougar?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
