hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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