You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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