john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
