we're chasing vodka with high fives
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
