Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize