Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
