So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
