you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
