My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is my gift to your gina
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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