Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize