Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
