It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
