Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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