She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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