Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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