I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
handjob tips. give me some.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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