Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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