You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
