That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
