Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
