Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
True but thats because hes a fetus.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize