tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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