I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
