you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
