dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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