she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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