he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
