I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize