I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
