This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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