i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize