The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
