I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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