Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize