I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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