the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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