We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think your dad took our porno
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
