I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We have so much sex to catch up on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
