i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
