Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize