I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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