...so i touched it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
how drunk are you?
Several
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
