My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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