Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
