he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
