She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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