Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
