Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
