I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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