Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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