My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
