My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
