she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
