If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I am morally bankrupt
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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