yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
