Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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