I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
